‘Tude

May 16, 2026

It’s attitude really. I watch Wendy clean her kitchen and she does it with this lovely sense of pride, ownership, belonging, love, and authority.

Meanwhile, I clean the kitchen pissed that dirty dishes even exist. Who can I blame for this? Why are dishes so annoying? I need to rant.

Wendy and my kitchen both end up being clean. But she’s calm and pleased. I’m ready to blow a gasket.

When I was in 7th grade at Hong Kong International School, I got in trouble with my Geography teacher Mr. Shaeffer. He was a tall guy with a 1970s mustache. Apparently I was in trouble because of my attitude. He took me out in the hall, shook his finger at me, and bemoaned my snarky ways. I can see why he was aggravated. Until recently, I had been such a good kid in Mr. Shaeffer’s class. But recently a dormant wild rebel who’d been hiding in my 12-year-old self woke up and took over. So, Mr Shaeffer was surprised and probably hurt by my sassy non-compliance when he asked me to point out where Thailand was on the world map.

My attitude had ruined his day. Harshed his mellow.

Webster’s Dictionary says attitude is “the particular way a person thinks or feels about something or someone.”

Hate it; love it; fear it; get bored by it…. We see the glass half empty, half full, maybe we see both, or at times just a shattered stupid glass. We can feel super swell about what we have or we can grumble about things gone wrong. We can doom scroll or we can pick to fill our brains with something hopeful (my hubby calls it glee scrolling, cuz even social media can be full of inspiration and wisdom – you just have to choose the right folks to follow). We can laugh at our screw ups or we can beat ourselves into a dark hole.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama says “Choose optimism. It feels better.” Sounds so simple.

Like all good things, it takes practice to “choose optimism”. In the end, that’s all we can do anyway, just practice. Just keep getting back on the wagon, just hop back up on that horse. My Buddhist teacher says the moment that you realize you’ve slipped off where you want to be, well that’s the real awakening, that’s the super cool part. No judgement. Just return to a more peaceful state of mind. A more optimistic one. Practice cleaning that (damn) kitchen like Wendy does instead of like I do. And when you slip into the snarly way of being, check your ‘tude, and switch it to where you want it to be.

Sorry Mr. Shaeffer. You were a good teacher. And I do know where Thailand is on the world map.