71 Tips & Tricks to Better Mental Health
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Life Hacks
During her years of struggling with anxiety and depression, Anh Oppenheimer developed a slew of life hacks to help prevent and get herself out of “the yuckies.” She jotted these tips down in case they might be useful to her children. Then the pandemic hit. Realizing that so many were felling alone, freaked, or blue, Anh hoped to reach a wider audience. With the advice and endorsement of a team of mental health professionals, she created Cue Cards for My Happier Mind.
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“After 40 plus years of a very busy psychiatric practice, I wish that I had had these
Cue Cards which I would gladly have recommended to many patients…”
Douglas B. Anderson, M.D.
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BUILD YOUR HAPPIER MIND
Know Thyself
What is going on in that noggin of yours? Pay attention. You may find that some of your thoughts aren’t as true or as lovely as they could and should be.
Flip Card“A man is what he thinks about all day long.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson, essayist, philosopher, poet
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SOOTHE YOUR HEART
Don’t Be Afraid
Your emotion, however distressing, is not all of you and won’t last forever. Take away your fear of the fear and you will take a hefty chunk out of your suffering.
Flip Card“We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes to us, seeing it is not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down.”
Eleanor Roosevelt, former First Lady of the United States
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IF SOMEONE THROWS YOU OFF YOUR GAME
It’s Not Personal
If a partygoer’s words hit you the wrong way, please remember it’s their crud, not you, that is leading them to be less than kind.
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“Screens provide superficial happiness. The real world provides real happiness.”
Moss Oppenheimer, outdoor adventurer
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BUILD YOUR HAPPIER MIND
Sleep
This is one of the big kahunas of mood health. Set yourself up for delicious slumber and you’ll set yourself up for success.
Flip CardSleep Hygiene Tips:
Consistent sleep schedule
At least 7 hours of rest a night
Relaxing bedtime routine without electronics
Comfy, quiet, dark bedroom
Not too much to eat or drink before bedtime
Plenty of activity in your day
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BUILD YOUR HAPPIER MIND
Thank a Lot
Give a nod of thanks to the things that truly make your heart sing - from potato chips to your loved ones. Gratitude transforms.
Flip CardGratitude physically affects the molecular structures in our brains! Counting our blessings makes us happier and healthier.
So says the Mindfulness Awareness Research Center at the University of California, Los Angeles
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USE YOUR BODY
Eat Something Good
Bobbing and weaving through life takes fuel! Fill that belly with nourishment.
Flip CardTry:
Grilled cheese
Soup with noodles
Apple with peanut butter
Fried chicken
Egg burrito
Oatmeal with brown sugar
Berry smoothie
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CHANGE YOUR MIND
Get Outta Your Navel
Sometimes the dark can be so consuming that it’s hard to look up. Try anyway. Take your gaze away from your suffering and see what else is going on. There is color, movement, and joy out there.
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BUILD YOUR HAPPIER MIND
Architect Your Day
Buildings need structure to keep standing, and so do you! Frame your life with routines that empower you.
Flip CardResearchers at Tel Aviv University found that repetitive, predictable routines decrease anxiety, bring calm, and help you feel in control of your life.
BTW, don’t schedule a gazillion things, because you also need free time to roll around the house like a wet noodle and do nothing.
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BUILD YOUR HAPPIER MIND
Create a Morning Ritual
Center yourself during that sacred time before the world begins. Even a teeny act will set a sweet tone for your day.
Flip CardIdeas for your morning:
Breathe mindfully
Set an intention for your day
Think 5 good thoughts
Meditate
Write
Sip hot chocolate and make a wish
Put headphones on and have a dance party
Light a candle
Texting and news come afterwards
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BUILD YOUR HAPPIER MIND
See Love
Add to your feel-good bank account and boost your faith in the human race. Focus on acts of sweetness and care between people - from the barista doing a caffeine jig to a mama smooching her baby.
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USE YOUR BODY
Breathe
Inhale and exhale through your nose slowly and softly in a rhythmic pattern. Repeat.
Flip Card“The deeper and more softly we breathe in, and the longer we make our exhales, the calmer we become. Breathing through the nose rather than the mouth also increases our oxygen absorption by 18% and leads to better circulation, immune function, and cognitive performance.”
James Nestor, author of Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art
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KNOW THIS
It’s OK To Be a Little Broken
In the 15th century, a Japanese Shogun broke his favorite tea cup. The shattered pieces were reassembled with glittering, golden glue. This process is called kintsugi. It celebrates the notion that embracing flaws rather than disguising them will create a stronger and more beautiful piece of art. Same goes for you.
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IF SOMEONE THROWS YOU OFF YOUR GAME
Thank the Butt Head
They are the challenge that will make you a better, stronger, cooler you. We all encounter Butt Heads sometimes.
Flip CardMao Tse Tung was an autocratic leader of China whose army invaded the nation of Tibet in 1950. The leader of Tibet (and all-around fabulous guy), His Holiness the Dalai Lama, was forced to flee and hasn’t been able to return to his country since. Amazingly, The Dalai Lama has credited Mao with being his greatest teacher. Mao helped him practice one of his main tenets - freeing oneself from hatefulness.
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CHANGE YOUR MIND
Add An “and” to It
Add a positive to your negative. “I am collapsing in overwhelm AND I look super hip today.” “I am full of anxiety AND I’m a loyal friend.”
Flip Card“The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.”
Marcus Aurelius, philosopher
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CHANGE YOUR MIND
Give It a Hand
Distract your angst by engaging your hands. Draw, sew, whittle, cook, sculpt, fold origami, do card tricks, clean…
Flip Card“Making art, working with your hands, forces you to focus on the present moment. When you’re focused on the present moment, your mind can take a break from the constant chatter. That’s the definition of true relaxation.”
Carrie Leeb, artist
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IF SOMEONE THROWS YOU OFF YOUR GAME
You Rock Anyway
So maybe your light is under a bushel basket right now. Pat yourself on the back for being brave enough to attend the event.
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SOOTHE YOUR HEART
Honor It
Feelings are a vital part of being a great human. They open you up. Don’t think badly of yourself when the tough ones hit.
Flip Card“Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.”
Charlotte Brontë, author Jane Eyre
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IF YOUR KNEES START TO BUCKLE
Bubble Up
Feeling exposed? Imagine a bullet-proof bubble of plexiglass around you. You’re protected. Nothing can hurt you.
Flip CardAccording to Dr. Elaine Aron, 15-20% of us are “highly sensitive people” (H.S.P.s) - folks who often feel like there is WAY too much info cascading into our minds and bodies. Since social gatherings are chock full of stimulation, sometimes we HSPs wig out just cuz our cup runneth over.
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CHANGE YOUR MIND
Laugh
Laughter can pierce the spell of fear and sadness in an instant. Call a goofy friend, watch a comedy, or read your Hilarity Sock Drawer List (see yellow Cue Cards).
Flip Card“Laughter is an external expression of joy; it is the most salutary of all bodily movements; for it agitates both the body and the soul at the same time, promotes digestion, circulation, and preparation, and enlivens the vital power of every organ.”
Hukeland
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IF YOUR KNEES START TO BUCKLE
Even the Playing Field
Don’t assume you’re less-than. Think: “The regular schmo in me sees the regular schmo in you.” Or “The God(dess) in me sees the God(dess) in you.”
Flip CardLevel playing field, n.:
a state in which conditions are fair for everyone, where all have an equal chance at succeeding
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CHANGE YOUR MIND
Be Radically Present
Redirect your monkey mind by diving deep into the now. Engage your five senses. What can you see, hear, feel, taste, and smell in this moment?
Flip CardThich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese monk, describes how to eat an orange with extreme mindfulness. He instructs us to notice the color, feel the shape, smell it. Think of the orange on the tree during the rains and sun, under the night sky. Watch what happens when you peel the orange. Now taste that orange. Suddenly, you’re involved in a miracle and the worrying world has slipped away.
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USE YOUR BODY
Slow… the… F***… Down…
Force your body into crazy slo-mo. Your mind will follow. Think sloth.
Flip Card“At a fire scene we try to make only very deliberate movements: grab axe, pull hose, walk to fire. Yelling, running - all that makes the adrenalin go through the roof, and that in turn impairs judgement. Slowing down your physiology increases your situational awareness, allowing you to be open to all that’s going on so that you do the right thing.”
Caroline Paul, former firefighter, author
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CHANGE YOUR MIND
Bitty Bit It
Break your clamoring thoughts down into tiny morsels. Make each one stand in line and wait its turn for your attention. You can only think or do one thing at a time.
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BUILD YOUR CONFIDENT SELF
3+3
Come up with three questions to ask and three ideas to bring up in conversation. They can be quirky, fascinating, or just plain ole.
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BUILD YOUR CONFIDENT SELF
Check Yer Vitals
Hungry? Tired? Need to pee? Chilly? Before you walk out your door, tend to your body. You’ll feel more grounded.
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BUILD YOUR CONFIDENT SELF
Remember Your Super Powers
Before you walk in to the social fray, fill yourself to the brim with reminders of your awesomeness.
Flip CardKeys? Check!
Jacket? Check!
Mental list of accomplishments? Check!
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IF THINGS FEEL REALLY AWFUL
Need Help Now? CALL or TEXT 9-8-8
Call or Text 9-8-8 for 24/7 kindness & support from a trained mental wellness crisis counselor
Text "NAMI" to 741741 to reach a trained crisis counselor
Call your therapist
Call someone, anyone
Flip CardThis feeling is temporary.
You matter.
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BUILD YOUR HAPPIER MIND
Practice Kindness
To yourself mostly. Then others. Spread it like peanut butter.
Flip Card“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
Philo of Alexandria, philosopher
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BUILD YOUR HAPPIER MIND
Notice Beauty
Break out of your jangling mind and soak up the gorgeousness around you. From the design of your high-tops to the inside of a halved apple, beauty is everywhere. Double your pleasure by saying it aloud or writing it down.
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SOOTHE YOUR HEART
T.L.C. It
Your angst or despair is an aspect of you, but not all of you. Imagine your hurting self is a shivering baby bunny. Bring that sweet cottontail in from the cold, listen to it, adore it, stroke its fur…
Flip Card“I am sorry to say that Peter was not very well during the evening. His mother put him to bed, and made some chamomile tea.”
Beatrix Potter, author The Tale of Peter Rabbit
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BUILD YOUR HAPPIER MIND
Practice Your Joy
Figure out what makes YOU (not Aunt Millie or your BFF) feel content, peaceful, fulfilled, connected, elated, or in your groove. Then do it, a little a day.
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KNOW THIS
It’s Just Practice
Perfection doesn’t exist. Like a pro-athlete, you just get out there, keep trying, and give it your best shot.
Flip Card“Have no fear of perfection; you’ll never reach it.”
Marie Curie, physicist, chemist, Nobel Prize winner
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USE YOUR BODY
Beware the “A.S.S.s”
Alchohol, Sugar, Substances. These are temporary soothers, but when overused, they will drop you lower than they ever raise you up.
Flip CardThere is nothing evil or weak about you if you’re struggling with substance overuse. Please don’t demonize yourself. Instead, get some support:
www.samhsa.gov
1-800-662-HELP (4357)
(Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration)
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ALLOW LOVE
Consider a Therapist
Your brain is yet another of your miraculous body parts. Nurture it when it’s feeling off-kilter. See your doctor when there’s pain. If you’d do it for your big toe, you can do it for your mind too.
Flip CardTo find a therapist:
Ask your primary doctor
Ask a friend for a recommendation
Visit your school’s mental health office
See if your job has an Employee Assistance Program
Visit www.psychologytoday.com
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BUILD YOUR HAPPIER MIND
Listen to Music
Whether it’s punk rock, hip hop, 17th century harpsichord, or elevator jangles that you jam to, play music as often as you can. It’ll keep you happy or pick you up when you’re feeling down.
Flip Card“Music has charms to soothe a savage breast, To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak.”
William Congreve, poet
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PREPARE FOR THE CRUDS
Sock Drawer Lists
Jot down 5 answers to the prompts on the back of this card. Toss the lists into your sock drawer or save them on your phone. When life feels wobbly, follow these breadcrumbs back to balance and light.
Flip CardHilarity: Laughable wet-your-pants moments
Memories: Your absolute faves
People who love you: On earth and in heaven
Cheerleaders: Real or fictitious, people who applaud you as you navigate life
What people love about you: Believe them!
Mantras: Power phrases like “I am safe.”, “I’ve got this.”, “Courage.”
Playlist: Music that fills you with joy, strength, and release
Things you like about yourself: Don’t be modest!
Things that make you happy: The color orange, tree forts, your mom…
Accomplishments: Big or small, lauded by folks or not noticed at all
Pals: The true-blue ones you can count on
Invent your own sock drawer lists
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BUILD YOUR CONFIDENT SELF
Apples to Apples
Comparing yourself to others (especially on social media) is kinda like poking yourself with a sharp stick. We are each so complex that really, the only way to gauge yourself is by measuring who you have been to who you are today to who you’d like to be.
Flip CardYou are beyond compare.
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SOOTHE YOUR HEART
Feel It
It’s OK to temporarily sink into your darkness - for a limited time. Go ahead - wallow, snarl, or quiver. Acknowledge your ache like you would the flu. Then gently get out of bed and into the world.
Flip Card“That’s the way of feelings: resist them and they grow. Feel them and let them flow through you like weather and they will change.”
Anna Agell, clinical social worker/therapist
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USE YOUR BODY
Get Grounded
Feeling physically rooted is hugely helpful when your mental worlds starts to tilt and spin. If you feel like you’re floating outside of yourself, try the tips on the back of this card.
Flip CardPicture bringing your whole etherial self into your rib cage
Imagine your body as super heavy and firmly on the earth
Squeeze and release every part of your body from your feet and to your eyebrows
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SOOTHE YOUR HEART
Name It
Give your emotion a name: “sad,” “angry,” “afraid,” “lonely”… The act of labeling your feeling gives it boundaries so you can stand back and look at it.
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USE YOUR BODY
Make Your Bed & Brush Your Hair
Physical sanity and beauty on the outside will bring it to your inside.
Flip Card“Tidying up your space can give you a fresh perspective and restore peace of mind.”
Dana Bjornsen, Clutter Chick
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Shift Your Focus
Pull your attention away from your wriggling self-doubt and shine your light on the other guy. Your keen interest in him will keep you in the present and take you out of your own hot seat.
Flip Card“When you feel conspicuous or uncomfortable, remind yourself that these are likely your thoughts - not those of others - that you are projecting. So take a breath. It’s all right.”
Douglas B. Anderson, M.D.
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USE YOUR SOUL
Be Radically Hopeful
In the face of the sh*ts, be ferociously defiant in your belief in the remarkable you, a favorable outcome, and the wondrous world.
Flip CardLet unshakable hope be the David who stands up to the roaring cruds of Goliath.
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ALLOW LOVE
Open Your Sock Drawer
Remember those lists you made when all felt dandy? (See yellow Cue Card) Read them now. Let them remind you of the happy, funny, rockstar you and the wondrous things of life. Tuck a few in your back pocket and let them ride with you like little guardian angels.
Flip Card“Make friends with the angels, who though invisible are always with you.”
Saint Francis de Sales, Catholic bishop
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CHANGE YOUR MIND
Unearth It
Dig back to the original - and possibly ancient - thought behind your mood. Do a reality check. Does it serve you? Is it even true any more?
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USE YOUR BODY
Get Your Ya-Yas Out
Shake out the sh*ts & dance out the demons. Even something tiny, like waggling your pinky finger, will help. Move your body and you’ll move your mind.
Flip Card“The least movement is of importance to all nature. The entire ocean is affected by a pebble.”
Blaise Pascal, philosopher
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BUILD YOUR HAPPIER MIND
Be With Friends
Hanging with your pals adds to your happiness stockpile, gets you out of the house, and builds a posse of people you can rely on when things go haywire.
Flip Card“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark than alone in the light.”
Helen Keller, author
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CHANGE YOUR MIND
Pick a Magic Word
Find a power word to use like a talisman. Evoke it when things get hairy. Choose something profound (“wisdom"), boppy (“yellow”) or giggle-worthy (“noodle”).
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BUILD YOUR HAPPIER MIND
Practice Positivity
When negative-nelly thoughts crop up, shift your attention to funnier, kinder, wiser thoughts. The bummer ones - eh, not so much.
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IF YOUR KNEES START TO BUCKLE
Remember, Everybody’s Weird
You’re not the only one. You’re surrounded by odd-balls. Plus, weird is cool.
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SOOTHE YOUR HEART
You Are Not It
Practice saying “I feel (emotion)” rather than “I am (emotion).” Because you are not the emotion. You are you with a passing feeling sitting in your heart.
Flip CardImagine you are the sky. Your emotions and thoughts are temporary weather patterns just passing through. Sometimes it’s sunny; sometimes it rains like hell on your head; sometimes a fog flattens you and takes all the color out of your world. But tornadoes pass and fog lifts. And then there you are, the sky. You’ve been there all along.
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CHANGE YOUR MIND
Vocalize
Sound vibrations shift brainwaves. And your glorious voice is sound. By saying things aloud (or singing), you trigger stress-relieving responses in your body.
Flip CardIn the 1700s, physicist and musician Ernst Chladni made sound vibration visible on a metal plate. The patterns were symmetrical, geometric, and amazingly gorgeous. Check out “Chladni figures” online and you’ll see what your radiant voice is doing to the molecules in your radiant being!
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BUILD YOUR CONFIDENT SELF
Stand Tall
Let your super hero posture trick your brain into feeling courageous and powerful.
Flip Card“Our studies show that when people stand up straight, they feel more hopeful, more confident, and empowered. This isn’t just psychological. Slouching, or walking around in ‘cell-phone position,’ compresses the upper spine, reduces energy, and increases depressive thoughts and feelings.”
Dr. Erik Peper, Professor of Holistic Health, San Francisco State University
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ALLOW LOVE
Remember the Monks
Right now someone is praying for your well being. Soak it up.
Flip CardIn every moment and every nook of this planet, there are congregations, prayer circles, and good souls who are chanting, singing, praying and wishing to ease your suffering. Bask in that when you’re feeling alone, scared, or weird.
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USE YOUR BODY
Grin
Make like a Chesire Cat and smile from ear to ear. It will literally send a signal to your brain that all is dandy. You may even feel ridiculous enough to crack yourself up.
Flip CardHuman and artificial cognition expert Dr. Fernando Marmolejo-Ramos found that the physical act of smiling stimulates the amygdala (emotional center of the brain) to release neurotransmitters that boost positive feelings. Even when the smile was faked, the brain responded with a little leap of glee.
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KNOW THIS
For Every Problem There Is An Answer
Even if it isn’t clear yet, even if it’s some surprising adaptation, the answer is there. You will find it. Ask.
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USE YOUR SOUL
Pray
Whether you’re religious, spiritual, or none of the above, get into a sense of reverence. Then put words to your deepest wishes and needs.
Flip CardDr. Masaru Emoto is an internationally renowned Japanese scientist and author of The Hidden Messages in Water. He did an experiment exposing water droplets to various words, music, and environments. He then froze each droplet for three hours. Viewing the frozen crystal formations under a microscope, Dr. Emoto found that the water droplets which had been prayed over formed into snowflake-like patterns, as did those exposed to classical and folk dance music. The droplets exposed to negative thoughts looked like oozing, melted metal.
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BUILD YOUR CONFIDENT SELF
Wear It
Wear something that makes you feel so bold you’re ready for the ultimate slow motion montage. I know you have just the thing.
Flip Card“Just looking at the sleeve of your new jacket or the shiny tips of your favorite shoes will give you the little tingle of joy you need to keep that party going.”
A.J. Oppenheimer, sharp dresser
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ALLOW LOVE
Cherish Yourself Anyway
Feeling low or terrified is not a weakness. Grappling with tricky mental health situations makes you a Warrior.
Flip CardPlease:
Forgive yourself
You’re doing your damn best
BFF yourself
Give you the same care and advise you’d give
your bestie
Spoil yourself
A bubble bath, bubble tea, bubble gum …
Go easy on yourself
Life is hard sometimes
Love yourself sweetly
Like a teddy bear
Believe in yourself
Ardently!
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USE YOUR BODY
Go Natural
Get into nature. Hear it, smell it, breath it … Let its magnificence sink into you.
Flip Card“The healing forces of nature are abundant: a gentle breeze clears the cluttered mind; sunlight on the water calms the frantic heart; eagle’s flight above blue mountains - stronghold of the ancestors - consoles the longing spirit.”
RoseMary Diaz, Santa Clara Pueblo
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USE YOUR SOUL
Throw It Up to the Divine
If you can’t figure it all out, that’s OK. Take a giant step back. Let go, and for a little while, believe in miracles.
Flip CardPalms up!
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CHANGE YOUR MIND
Spin It
If an ad man can make dandruff shampoo seem marvelous, you can do the same with your downer thoughts. “I’m a lazy bum” can become “I’m a chill dude.” “Mean people suck” can become “Good people rock.”
Flip CardTry this 1-2-3:
Write your current unhappy thought
Write a more realistic thought
Write a radically positive version of the thought
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SOOTHE YOUR HEART
Listen to It
That yucky feeling in your head, heart, or gut is a messenger. It’s letting you know something needs attention and adjusting. What is your current feeling telling you?
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BUILD YOUR HAPPIER MIND
Meditate
Let those thought-bubbles drift away. Give your brain some sweet sweet peace.
Flip CardSit comfortably and close your eyes.
Focus on breathing slowly and softly.
When thoughts begin to clutter your mind, acknowledge them and let them drift away.
Refocus on your slow, soft breathing.
Don’t worry if you fall asleep or think a lot. That still counts as meditating.
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SOOTHE YOUR HEART
Express It
Emotions are like burps. It hurts when you hold them in. So don’t! Let ‘er rip.
Flip CardCuss like a cowboy because it is a damn sh*t fest
Sing your heart out because sound vibrations humming through your body alter you
Scribble furiously because dumping the yucks onto a page will lighten you
Talk because people love you
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CHANGE YOUR MIND
Narrate
Act like a documentary voice-over guy and give words to your story. Getting it out of your mind and into the ether will make it clearer and help loosen some of its grip.
Flip Card“Storytelling gives meaning to our experience. Because of its chronological structure, we can understand how events begin, evolve, and the consequences they have.”
Todd Oppenheimer, Editor and Publisher of Craftsmanship Magazine
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IF YOUR KNEES START TO BUCKLE
Channel Someone
Who do you know (real or fictitious) that would feel at ease or in control right now? Pretend you’re that person.
Flip CardFake it ’til you make it.
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ALLOW LOVE
Reach Out
Life is not a solo journey. You don’t get points for sailing the ship alone. So call a friend or your therapist. They’ll be so glad you reached out.
Flip CardBonus:
Showing friends or family your vulnerability and pain will encourage them to do the same with you when they are feeling walloped.
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BUILD YOUR HAPPIER MIND
Exercise
Get breathless. Dance, swim, run, kickbox ’til you sweat 3+ times a week.
Flip CardThe Mayo Clinic says regular exercise releases feel-good endorphins. Working out can help improve your mood, reduce anxiety, and increase your confidence. What could be better?!!!
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