Mark Duplass - actor, filmmaker, musician - suffers from depression and anxiety. He’s amazingly transparent…
Little Ego
June 1, 2026
“Check your ego at the door.” That’s what my long ago acting teacher in East Hampton used to say.
I kinda love that.
I’ve been thinking a lot about ego lately. I’ve wondered if it’s like a little creature, a little part of me (think Internal Family System). If my ego is a little part of me, like a tiny bunny, can I talk to it and ask it to focus on certain things and not others?
“Hey Little Ego, instead of worrying about what people think of my blogs (cuz i really really really want this blog to be authentic and come from my heart and not be something driven by me trying to impress) how about you focus on fashion instead? Can you do that for me? Pick out great clothes for me to wear so I look like a kinda bad ass older woman?”
Or “Little Ego, can you be so concerned with how I look that you inspire me to exercise more? How about that? I could really use you in that area.”
Will Little Ego comply? Will she leave me alone enough in one area that she’ll leave me alone in other areas where I yearn to be unselfconscious and authentic?
I think she’d do that for me.
I once knew a lady named Khadijah. I met her in Egypt when I was working on a documentary there. She’d taken on the mantel of spiritual lady person in Giza (where the pyramids and Sphinx are). She lived in a cool apartment at the foot of the Giza plateau in a shambling town called Mena Village. She had a lot of black cats (or maybe just one, but it had a huge presence).
Khadijah would take people to the foot of the Great Sphinx and get everybody to meditate. Then she’d tell them what color their aura was. This kind of stuff made my eyes roll, but I still really liked Khadijah. She was kind. And sort of otherworldly.
Khadijah visited me on the east end of Long Island a couple years later. I was in some kind of deep existential mind set, walking the beaches and thinking about stuff like eternity, ego, why we’re here. Kind of heady for a 20-something. I was under the impression that ego was super bad and you had to banish it from your being. I tried, but honestly, I couldn’t do it. No way.
So when wise, aura-reading Khadijah joined me on these esoteric beach musings, I worried aloud about how bad I’d been at extincting my ego.
“No girl! Heavens, we need a little ego,” said Khadijah. “Otherwise we’d never wash our hair!”
Aha! I see….. so…. yeah. I guess ego is something that plain exists… and maybe we can find that sweet spot between checking it at the door and letting it take over. Maybe instead we work with its funny little strength, we begin a dance of cajoling and refocusing. Cuz hair washing is kinda vital. So is trying to look badass.
Thanks Little Ego. Appreciate you.
More Posts
Related Posts
